CODfish

I substitute teach. Which really means that I baby sit children wondering why I can’t simply throw on Forest Gump like subs did when I went to school. Often, I overhear middle and high school kids chat about gaming. I used to interject and enlighten them with the fact that I, and many other responsible (by responsible I mean able to function in society by holding a job and paying bills) adults, are avid gamers who play on a regular basis.

However, I stopped talking about gaming with students because the vast majority of them would inevitably ask about my Call of Duty skills.

“Mister, I would wreck you so bad!”

I’m sure you freaking would! I DO NOT play COD because I don’t want want some twelve year old destroying me every two seconds and saying incredibly nasty things about my mom. Granted, I’m not particularly fond of my mom and her cougarish ways (I’m 31 and she’s dating a man in his thirties who invited me over to play Xbox with him. I found it strange that if perhaps we played past curfew she would ground both of us) but still, I’d rather not objectify myself to that crap.

I have no COD skills. I tried, I really did but the damn game makes me feel like a fish out of water. A fish who repeatedly gets shot in the head while flopping around looking for a dam crate or something to hide behind. I believe I jumped into Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 a few years back and did indeed get wrecked. By the time I got into the game everyone already knew the respawn areas and all the little tricks that I didn’t have hours upon hours to learn. It’s not that I don’t have the time, no matter how busy I am I schedule game time since it is my main form of entertainment and escape from the daily rigors of adult life. Again, that whole “responsible” thing.

It’s just that I look at gaming as though it’s a buffet. Try a little bit of this, a little bit of that and if you really like a dish that will be the main part of the meal, but you can still enjoy smaller morsels just for that different taste. Variety is the spice of life, and in my opinion gaming should be no different.


Alex Shootz
Please just call be by "myname." I like video games and I have a wife (she made me put that).